Category Archives: Uncategorized

Solace

It’s the second anniversary of my grandmother’s death and tonight it feels like not even a second has past. My family has slowly pulled itself back together, but this evening I am still overwhelmed by my emotions. I still can’t see past it. I still feel torn apart and alienated.

But, I am also grateful. I am extremely fortunate to have felt the familial connection and love that inspires this heartache and sadness. I am humbled. Without her, I would not be me and in that I take solace. I am made of her. And of my mother. And my father. And my brother, too.

We’re still all together.

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when my thoughts drift to you.

when i started this project i was skeptical.

could i remember to take the photos?
would i have time to edit the videos? *
what would my friends think?
could i truly commit myself?

but i took the leap.

now i’m finishing this project.
i’m scared.
i’m sad.
i’m grateful.

for this journey of self-exploration.
for the trust and close relationships laid bare.
for the portraits of so many beautiful, loved friends and family members.
for the silhouette of myself in a life-photo still unclear.

realizing that my dearest friends have exposed themselves to and for me is humbling. it is to those friends that i feel the most gratitude, love and admiration.

without you, i am not me.

thank you.

love,
claudette carole

special love, adoration and thanks to:

the many friends who have allowed themselves to be photographed by me.

my nannie, dixie carole for her strength and unending love.
for all the boat rides, fireworks, birthdays and patience.
for giving me the lake, the love of summer nights and cornbread dressing.
for listening to me, understanding me and teaching me to love my family.
for sharing her name and her texas with me.

my parents, bubba, sister-in-law, nieces and extended family for making me who i am, always having my back, and giving me unconditional love.

sarah “sarita” elisabeth ralph for being my sister soulmate, my best and most beautiful subject, and for loving me more no matter what.

jesse trussell for being my perpetual sounding board, constant supporter, and for the best existential conversations; for helping me start, continue, finish and understand this project.

matthew enea crawford for always listening to me, waiting on me and trusting me; for giving me tough love, more shit than i can handle, making me laugh and keeping me sane.

lindsey & johnny ashley for hours of entertainment, food, friendship and comforting conversation.

blakeney kammerdiener & tesha vandusen for giving me shelter, love and support no matter what.

jessica mae stuart & joshua james fulp for more than 20 years of laughter, fighting and fun; for sticking by me no matter how bratty, bossy or crazy i’ve been and helping make me the person i am today. FLP FOR LIFE.

arthur carroll reyna, III for magnesium-burning lightning-in-a-bottle love and for giving me einstein’s dreams.

stephanie noone, rebecca feferman, nicholas palmer robinson, janet pierson, jarod neece and everyone else who backed and encouraged me without fail.

* obviously, while i am finished capturing this project, i have not yet completed it. i am currently in the process of editing the remaining videos and regret that my intense work commitments prevented me from completing them in a timely manner. thankfully, a project about memory and the understanding and interpretation of time means it kind of works. look for additional videos to be added throughout the summer and fall.

361. Saturday, May 22, 2010. Sarah, Mason and Me.

Sarita. Excited. Early gift. Naked. Threadgill’s. Choke. Antone’s. Be here now. Lindsey. Conciliation. Love. Perfect.

340. Saturday, May 1, 2010. Rozie Bug.

Matt. Blake. Rock Band. Tesha. Sick. Lauren. June Bug. Laugh. Comfortable.

334. Sunday, April 25, 2010. Blues House.

Chores. Guitar. Chill. Home Cookin. Family Meal. Too long. Comfort. Content.

214. Saturday, December 26, 2009. Dust in the Wind.

Corpus. Family. Mommy. Ocean. Windy. Support. Love. Happiness. Time. Future. Calm. Birdie.

178. Friday, November 20, 2009. Spooky Crown.

DJ. Anchor. Bad reader. Burger and fries. Rain. Walk or drive. Weird seats. No photos. Zone out. Global warming. One note. Not dynamic. Can’t sleep.